Are You Sabotaging Your Own Success?

Posted by Balance In Motion in Uncategorized
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What’s the worst thing that will happen if you stop holding yourself back?

I realize that that’s a loaded question, but how often do you grant yourself permission to selfishly think about what you truly want? Can you even answer that question?

I challenge you to take some time to think about what you really want for 30-minutes. Once you have done that I want to know, how many times—in that half hour—did you allow your mind to travel to a place where there were no boundaries or judgments, only to have those thoughts abruptly interrupted by self-doubt, fear and guilt?

To quote one of my mentors, Steve Krebs, “Most frustrations come from not being clear, or not following through on the things that you actually want.”

If you have ever set goals, only to be disappointed by the results you know that those frustrations normally lead to blame, anger, and confusion. Once the frustration dust settles however, you typically set out on a quest for more information in hopes of finding clarity. I know this because that’s how I use to operate.

Let me rewind to one year ago…

  • My dog was diagnosed with Cancer
  • My marriage ended
  • I broke my foot (1-week before “moving day”)
  • My business, which at that time was “my everything,” was spiralling down a dangerous path of devastation

 

Fast-forward to today…

  • My now 3-legged dog in now Cancer-free and doing amazing
  • My marriage… well let’s just say that’s not in my cards right now 😉
  • I learned that breaking my foot was actually the best thing that could have happened to me because it forced me to change… everything, you can read all about that HERE
  • Balance In Motion is now stronger than ever

 

My intent for getting personal and sharing some of my experiences is not to attain any sort of sympathy, but rather to help paint a picture of how much one’s life can change in a short period of time; and the difference you can make in your life if you commit to yourself and are honest about what you want.

The more I challenge myself, the more I let others challenge me, and the more I challenge them in return I realized how much I am in control of my own destiny, and happiness. By simply being honest with myself, I realized that the only thing that stands between me and everything that I want out of life is ME.

I use to be scared to pour all of my energy into something for fear that it would not turn out how I had envisioned. I like so many, was of terrified of failure. To me it felt easier to not try and feel accomplished by mediocre then to put 100% into something only to see it fail.

I also use to be scared to tell people how I really felt. I would hold back, hide, and hope for the outcome that I really wanted—or at least thought I wanted—instead of being present, honest, and true with myself, and others.

I use to sit patiently and wait for the right moment, thinking that it would magically make itself known. I thought the timing would just seem right. So instead of stepping out and making things happen, I’d put them on hold and wait for them to happen. Just think of all of that time that I wasted!

I use to be honest when there was no pain – when the truth was easy, and there was no risk in telling it. I avoided tough conversations and all other areas of my life that frightened me because I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings, and ultimately my insecurities.

In short I was in a bad relationship with myself, and found every reason in the book why I couldn’t do the things deep down I knew would make my life better.

The moment that I honestly gazed upon myself in the mirror was the moment that everything in my life started to change. As soon as I accepted responsibility, made the decision to ruthlessly commit to the things that I wanted, decided to be real and honest with the people I choose to have relationships with, stopped waiting, and stopped lying to myself, was the exact moment that I waved my white flag and surrender the battle I was having with myself, and everyone else in my life. It was at the same moment that I was also finally able to accept myself for who I was. Though I admit, I barely knew that person and wasn’t sure if I liked her.

 

Bringing it all back to the present

I want you to ask yourself, is there something that you can let go of TODAY that will make you into a better version of yourself?

I am not claiming that I have it all figured out. I am however content with where I’m at in life, who I am, and shamelessly proud of how far I’ve come—which is a long way from where I was a year ago. Trying to figure out what you want and what makes you happy probably won’t be a task that you can complete in 30 minutes. You will likely need to think a lot about it. From my experience it’s an ongoing and ever changing project—you need to be willing to do the work if you’re going to uncover your definition of happiness.

That said I want to help you figure it out faster. So below I have included a few things that have helped me discover my happy place in the last 6 months.

 

1. I do the following daily

  • I Exercise (shocking, I know ;P)
  • Make a point to eat well (no more self-sabotage!)
  • Get enough sleep
  • Meditate daily
  • Do The Work of Byron Katie from, “Loving What Is
  • Appreciate the relationships I value, and do something to show that appreciation
  • Surround myself with amazing people that not only make me want to be a better person, but also inspire me to do so
  • Do one thing (big or small) every day that just makes me happy

 

2. Write 90-day goals

The simple act of putting pen to paper to write down all of the things that you want to accomplish in 90-days has had a massive impact on my personal and professional life. It has allowed me to visualize my future, and provided me with a to do list that I know I can commit to.

By committing to my goals I am committing to not holding myself back, and have finally allowing myself to be honest about what I really want.

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not easy. Making the decision to commit to you is one thing; following through with the actions that prove that commitment is a whole other. But nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy. So if you’re currently sitting patiently waiting for something to happen, STOP. It’s time for you to take action and embrace yes.

You are the author of your own life, so write the novel that makes you happy, and proud. Change your story and you WILL change your outcome.

If you’re struggling to define your goals, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by email (andrea@balancemotion.com) or come and speak to me at the BIM studio. Just because you are the key to your own success and happiness, doesn’t mean that you need to take the journey alone 🙂

Andrea